That Shadow That Haunts Me

On a bright not so happening sunday afternoon,i did a terrible thing.I had initially wanted to go into the research labs to ensure I'd acquire the skill or at least succeed once at injecting buffer saline into the lateral tail vein of the mice as required in the research project.Instead,i ended up with a guilty conscience of having accidentally killed a mice.How did that happen?I have no idea either.Depression set in pretty fast.And no matter how many times i admit to it or try to laugh it off,i still feel something.Sacrificing the mice was suppose to come eventually but it hit pretty hard when it came least expected.Thinking ahead,will i be strong enough to face that if it happened on a human being?I'm learning to control my feelings and detach myself from unnecessary emotions.It all used to be so easy when i was anti social..Have i changed that much in these 4 years?

Good Will Games '08

Made a last minute decision to join Goodwill Games on Thursday after speaking to Winnie.It came along with a little motivation after playing badminton with a few others.I've realised that i miss playing sports so so very much.But with the number of people i currently know in bukit jalil,it's pretty hard to play any team sports.After consulting Gordon(sports rep in seremban),i was told i would be playing on the Seremban badminton team.It didn't really matter actually, as long as i got to play but i was already getting a few stares from the players in Bukit Jalil early this morning when they found out.Sorry lar dudes, i guess i'm now officially old enough to join the senior team.And as the track record goes, the Bukit Jalil team has always been the winner for Goodwill Badminton.So they didn't have to really worry,i should have been the one worrying about losing.

6 a.m was the meeting time as i was informed (and i actually woke up early for this one)but as Malaysian time goes,we left bukit jalil much later then expected.When we reached,the opening ceremony hasn't even started yet.So i guess we could say we were on time.Basketball was the first event up,watched a lil of that,had breakfast then dig a few volleyballs before i accidentally cause one to fly down the hill.Oops.
10am Badminton time.After Gordon's tactical analysis,he decided to put me in the women's doubles and he had the right sense to put the stronger team as the 2nd team.Way to go.The first 2 events gave me little butterflies as it ended on a 1-1 basis.The next two up were more promising.And i guess the lucky stars were really shining on us as we ended the games at 4-1.For the first time in history, the Seremban badminton team won Goodwill Games.Woohoo..So proud to be one of them.I guess this is the sweetest exit from competitive badminton anyone can ask for before leaving IMU.I'm happy happy happy today..Hehe

Bursting My Own Bubble

A few back my bos had suddenly asked me to go for a school visit with my other colleagues on a marketing event.Was quite excited and scared at the same time.Usually i'd only be the one doing the packing of brochures and not the one out there promoting IMU.A lot was going through my mind.
I decided to read all these before i went...


Nevertheless all the fears were unnecessary,i'd pick up some useful info from my partner and didn't have much problems dealing with the students.Phew.We even had time to chit chat and people watch as it wasn't a typically very busy day.There was a group of kids whom i took notice of.I kinda had to because they were like an island slowly and i mean slowly, floating across our booth and talking about ways to get rich and retire before 40.I wondered if i ever thought of these kinda thing...Maybe not,if i did,i won't be in medical school.I don't think i'll ever get rich even when i'm 80yrs old.

Anyways since i did okie the first time,i was sent out on another school visit yesterday.The only thing was...i never made it.I don't know how and i don't know why,i overslept an hour.(Hadn't happen before in my whole month plus of working experience)Everyone was scrambling around to look for me thinking that the worst had happen.Their speculations were like "maybe she feel sick,maybe something bad happen to her,she's not usually like that and the funniest was, she couldn't take working there anymore and left without a word".It's really nice to work with people like that,they never think the worst of you...but eventually i did tell them the cold hard truth that i overslept.I could see shock but relieve that i'm okie.Somehow the whole day i was carrying a baggage of guilt and huge disappointment of myself.I just can't understand why my mind and body had to do that on an important day.I wondered if that was my mind's way of telling me i'm pretty worn out due to non-stop physical activity?

But to clear my mind of the guilt,i went for a gym tryout at My Fitness.I went all crazy and spent over an hour on the treadmill and the cycling machine each,i bet the tv screen had something to do with it.Can't say that they have bad facilities but i think i'd much rather do my jogging outside.Since the weather is getting better these days or at least enough time for me to jog before it pours,don't think i'll be heading back to the gym anytime soon.

Battling the Rain

I tried to get out and make a few laps before the rain came.Still thinking positive eventhough i saw flashy lighting and heard the rumbling of thunder on the way there.Before i even finish my 2nd,it was pouring like cats and dogs.Decided not to wait and just might as well run back in the rain.To compensate i did the most unexpected thing.Climb 18 floors up....i was already regretting when i got to the 4th floor but made it to 18 nevertheless.There goes my fancy effort to stay healthy.

Anyway,right as i was walking out for lunch today,i heard the SRC Hustings Day goin on and what a coincidence they were on to the Treasurer candidates.
(For those not in the loop,i used to be one of those people a long long time ago
SRC= Student Representative Council.Every year,elections will be held by student votes.
Hustings Day= When the candidates have to make public speeches to garner votes,talk about their manifesto's and get grilled based on task handed out and whatever questions the public decides to throw at them)
Again this year they had 3 candidates.Well everyone must think that being the treasurer is glamorous, i for one can contradict that.It won't be that fun anymore when people keep chasing you 24-7 to ask for money or hearing continuous pleads to give their projects a chance,the worst part is when i have to be the bad guy and turn them down.Hate doing it but my 'better judgment' made me do that.So only part of my brain is at fault.Hehe.Other then that everything is good.Back to the candidates,so far i have only met one personally but from my perspective(from Hustings) 2 of them were pretty sharp while the other could only get by.Well lets not mention names before i get any hate mails.If you wanna know,do come and ask me.Ehe.

It's weird sometimes the distances people go to get what they want, i for one am not an exception either,it gives me the shivers each time i think back to the moment when i sang in front of crowds to get people's attention.What does that have to do with SRC? Absolutely nothing,only that it makes people notice your courage perhaps. Well the other most noticeable trait is that candidates who were only your hi bye friends are suddenly so eager to talk to you.I personally felt it today,the weird part is it's me,I only work in marketing,no vote value.Maybe like a junior said to me,i might not have the ability to vote but i still have the ability to influence.I'm flattered but seriously it's not my place to say what is or is not to be.As it is,i got my 5 seconds of fame when Kajen asked the candidates to name the present treasurer and the past 2 treasurers before that.Kudos to the candidate who got my name right but no one got to know my senior before me,Hendrick.The glamour of it all only last for as long as you hold the post.What is left after that is the experience and that in part depends on how you hold yourself when you're in power.

"With great powers come great responsibilities"-Uncle Ben from Spiderman

All Weathered Down

The weather today,like any other day in Kay El City can be a really big party pooper killing my spirit for sports along with it.I got off work today with a smile because it looked bright outside but the moment i stepped thru the entrance,i saw people unleashing their ever ready multi coloured umbrellas.That is when i knew i had to sit home again.Like many others,i just couldn't bother to bring an umbrella anyways,it's just little droplet but it's enough to stop outdoor activities.Sigh.

Anyway it gives me time to bring my blog up to date.Let's see...last week was alright if i would say so.Eventhough it didn't start off too well.Came back from my weekend prayers without my keys.What a genius,aren't i?Luckily my ever so helpful housemate.Ben hadn't left for Terengganu yet.Phew!

Most days were uneventful and i mean really uneventful.I guessed i've finally mastered the art of being alone.As scary as it may seem,it's been a good experience to learn to appear alone in public.At first i felt that it's pretty awkward, it nearly felt like being out casted.Imagine eating alone but in a cafeteria full of people.I've been one to avoid this kinda situation.But to the contrary,it's just mind over matter.If i didn't bother what people would think of me being alone,i'd actually enjoy the freedom of doing anything at any time i want.I wouldn't say i love doing it all the time but now i know i won't be clouded by the feeling of insecurity if or when it happens again.

Thank goodness i didn't hafta go thru that for a long time.Bro came to the rescue on thursday..and since dad was busy again.We made our own plans to throng midval for a sibling outing.Had to prove a popular believe originating from Penang that Manhattan Fish Market sucks by having super high cholesterol dinner.I'm serious i've heard so many comments by friends and families about the quality of their chain store in Pg.I've never tried it...but couldn't let one of my fav fast food outlet suffer the unequal judgment since i know it to be so good.Well in kl at least.And i was right..bro did say it taste different here.

Oh and once and for all before i forget.HaPpY BiRtHdAy to all Aprilian's i know.I never realised so many people celebrate their entry to this world on this April Fool's month.Hehe.

First there was Siaw,who already has an entry dedicated to him on the 9th of April

Then,my little sis...18th April

Karen next 20th April-
We had an eventful pre-Birthday outing even though she was unaware of it.I went to Rak Thai for lunch again and pretty much nearly tried the whole menu already.We were even able to buy her cake under her nose..without her realising.So, as far as she knows, the story is i rare a pigeon and it delivered the cake over to Vista.She been curious to know the real story but that's what's called a suprise isn't it?For us to know and her to slowly guess it out.

Uncle John and Cousin Stephen 20th & 21st April

Chong Meng's would be up next...far far away in Japan or Boolat country as my friends called it-24th April

Sof darling will be older soon enough.My wish for you this year...people won't stop you to check for identification for looking underage anymore.Hugs all the way to Australia for this one.28 April

In fact Hugzzz to all...it's been really great to be able to share the joy with the people i love with all the splendid celebrations.At least i got to experience both the extremes of being awfully lonely and overcrowded all in a short interval.Balance is important,isn't it?

Battle of the Hair Spray

The new shiny bottle and the old mighty bottle

Time has come for the comparison between the new hair spray i bought and the one i used to have.
Here are the results.

L'oreal's Fix n Shine (Finishing Spray) :
Smells pleasant , Gives a strong hold with only a few sprays ( a lot in my case cos my hair is as hard as a feather..if you catch my drift),Lasts for practically a whole day,A lil sticky,Irritates the eyes if not used properly and well a lil pricer.

Gatsby's Super Hard Set and Spray :
Smells like vodka (prob any alcoholic drink but vodka was the first that came into mind)
Took a lot to set the hair in place,thus not very pleasant to the nose.
Didn't last long,Non sticky or greasy and a lil cheaper then the former.
The bottle looks cooler too.

Conclusion : I'll have to ship the Gatsby back to Pg for my bro since it's not doing any justice on my hair.And i'll have to fork out more money to get another L'oreal.Darn...shouldn't have been a cheapskate and experiment with new sprays.Maybe next time i'll stick to the usual.Maybe not.Hehe.

This Day In History

It's been exactly 1year since she went away.It had been the most trying time in my life. No amount of self inflicted stress or picking by a certain other person could have matched that torturous feeling inside.I keep wanting it to be over but the medical student inside of me knew what it really meant for it to be over.I bypassed a lot of events during that period of my life.But i would never change anything i did or how i spent my time.

We never got along when i was younger because of her ideologies of what young girls should do or why the eldest son is more superior.But as time passed,it didn't matter anymore.

I miss her noticing every new thing i buy.
I miss the times when we would share a laugh whenever she put on the dangly ear rings i bought for her.
I miss the times when she would prepare a feast waiting for my homecoming.
I miss telling her stuff my parents wouldn't understand.

She was my motivation to achieve.
She would have been the one most proud of me when i graduate.
As I am proud to have had her as my grandma

Some One is Older

Quietly age creeps on,and suddenly before you know it.....HAppY 22nd BiRtHdAY SIAW.....You'll always be our beloved sleeping beauty.

Wanted it to be a grander celebration but it was only the few of us.Bet it would have been better if we had some intoxicating liquids and sand around.Rite People??Replay of Langkawi.Weee..Too bad everyone had their own agenda early this morning.

Siaw are you sleeping again?
He huffs and he puffs
Enough cakes to make nations fat!!
Happy Uhuhu-ing Siaw!!!

May your wishes come true..whatever it may be..i hope you wished for a pay rise and not just additional sleeping time.Hehe.

xoxo,

Cheemz

p.s:I'm still gonna merajuk cos Siaw didn't invited me to go for the play.Like that lar forget about the only girl around.

Leekyfied Weekend

After numerous weeks of being lonely and having to look for people to hangout with,finally someone came to my rescue.Someone had message me earlier last week asking if she could come to KL to play with me.At first I was a little blur since there was no identification of who it was but considering there has only been on person who calls me Ah Chee...it had to be Leeky(my college mate from INTEC days).I had to literally contain my excitement while working,I haven't seen her since the day she left for Manipal and now she's back again!

She had arrived late friday night but that didn't deter us from catching a movie before we moved on to catching up on 2 and 1/2 years worth of gossip news till early morning.What we discussed shall not be mentioned here,it's for us to know and the people we're talking about to never find out.Hehe.

I must say it was a really productive weekend,not only did we share lots of information but we manage to take a dip in the IT world.We had conquered both Low Yat and Digital Mall in just two short days and were able to walk away with decent buys before Leeky's friend went ka-boom due to Leeky's ignorance on IT.That really gave me the much needed laugh i needed.


I kinda got frustrated having to choose a laptop so i figured it was easier to settle for a camera first.I know it's pink,i'm not being bimbotic ok,it's just the nicest colour they had in stock.
First photo from my cameraLeeky and her new toy

Those few days were really draining and left me feeling like a zombie the night before i had my first research lab session.Not a really smart move but i wouldn't trade it for the world.All good things must come to an end,Leeky's departure left me feeling like there was a black hole sucking me into a lonely corner.I guess when you've had that much fun,you just want more.But maybe it's time for me to relearn to be independent from having friends around all the time.

Nevertheless,before that i had to make a prank call to welcome my ex-housemate,Khairun on her return from Manipal as well.Hehe.Being as gullible as she is,she fell for it eventhough my BM failed midway.Talking to her just brings back the memories of the times when i was carefree and had everything well planned ahead for me.I'm feeling like i don't belong these days but hopefully talking to people from my past will bring back who i used to be or at least that joy i had in doing whatever i had to do.Emo-ing all the time just don't seem like the solution.Maybe what Ming said to me today was right...i'm just not used to taking orders from others.

I Got Aberdeen!!

(2007_)
Those were the words that i came out from my mouth when i first got my university matching results.While i was elated ,i was wondering why my close friends were asking me if i was okie.Some of them even looked a little sad for me.Little did i know i did the silliest thing on earth....I had uttered the wrong university.I got into Edinburgh by the way.Well it was close right...both of then are in Scotland,only 2hours away.

31st March came in a blink of an eye.Jackie left for Aberdeen for real.The whole chin-gang rose to event, be it from Seremban or Bukit Jalil,we had to see our family member take the walk.

It's pretty awkward to have some one whom i can remember clearly..mugging in the library,tolerating the unpalatable tau pau-ed nasi goreng together,share donuts with, to not be around the corner anymore.

Feeling heavy hearted right now,definitely, but not sad.Somehow i just know that we'll be having more adventures to come in the land of the pleated skirts.

There were no tears rolling from my emotionally unstable lacrimal glands this time.Although some one else's did.

Question is,will i be able to hold back when it's my turn to leave.

PS-Liew Yen Eit..hOpE you arrived safely.And go Survey area k.See Yea in a few months.

The Great Penang Weekend

Cheng Beng/Ching Ming season is around.For those in the dark about Chinese traditions,it's the time when we pay our respects to our ancestors by visiting the graves,performing prayers and give offerings.Or to say it more bluntly it's called the Grave Sweeping Day.Since i'm Cantonese, we do it a week earlier..all this while i thought it was just to avoid traffic.And seriously,i've never seen a massive jam like this in Penang except for this time of the year.Even Chinese New Year visits can't beat this.

Well after fulfilling my filial duties,i had time to go catch up with a friend,Jo Leen and together we caught a movie ,An Empress and The Warriors.OMG Donnie Yen!!!I Like.It's one of the best movies i've watched so far this year.I would give it a 9 out of 10.Minus marks cos it made jo leen and i sad at the end..No one saved Donnie Yen.Huhu.Okie that was a spoiler.Seriously must watch,even if it's not in the cinemas near you,go download.It's that good.

Then guess what we happen to stumble upon.

Rynn Lim Yu Chong together with the rest of the cast of the drama Shi Fen Xiao Rong(Absolute Smile) from astro aec.I haven't watched the drama but apparently they we're showing the finale.What else to do..just kaypo lar.But it paid off cos Yu Chong sang the theme song Shi Fen Yan Se.Anyone has the file?I want,too noob to look myself cos dunno mandrin.Hafta thank Adam for trying to do so but file got corrupted before it came thru.

After that it was a series of meeting up with people like Ben the busy lawyer.It's been ages since i've seen him,still as silly as usual.Had a coffee bean card but didn't know what it was for.Somehow hilarious things just happen when we get together.Even the Sunset Bistro turned pitch black cos some guy was messing with the wiring on the streets.Guess the sun really set for that area.Hehe.

Got Mich to go for family dim sum with me on early sunday morning and manage to get freshly baked bread from Continnental Bakery.What can beat the smell of freshly baked flour in the morning especially for my bread loving bestie.

Finally,i manage to steal some time to chit chat with Pei Hwa and Wan Jean while they were suprisingly having dim sum at the same place, only later.

Being home really makes it hard to face the fact that i have to go back to work.Even though there are just a few people around,quality definitely beats quantity.Especially since some of them are like charging ports for my battery.I've learned so much just by sitting down for dinner with Jo Leen,things i think i shouldn't know till i'm probably out there really working and the encouragements to cope.Knowing that i'm not the only one with my sentiments really keeps me in check.Home really is sweet home.Nothing can replace it.